some days it feels like this journey that i'm on is impossible: i get ma'am'd up and down the wazoo, i can't get my hair to look right, i get stared at everywhere, my pants aren't fitting, i can't shower because it means touching the body i am dissociating from. some times these days make me feel like my journey is impossible, and other days it makes me feel like my gender is impossible.
but then there are amazing days: i get smiled at by other genderqueer people, i get sir'd, my hair is fabulous, my clothes fit perfectly, i feel like i'm floating...i shower without fear. days when friends remind me that they love me. days when my partner knows exactly how i'm feeling on the gender front without my saying anything.
days when the world just seems to be spinning in my favor.